monarch butterflies , lullaby

monarch butterflies

a blip / d hiss splinter / d from mother ‘ s thin , dry quivering lips as she whistled a lullaby that gave her courage when she was young n scared . she squeezed her daughter ‘ s shoulder w / her arthritic grip , firm enough to register pain in the young , sweet girl . ” ugh ” tricKled out of her sicK body , slump / d over mom ‘ s lap . her mom didn ‘ t trust doctors , not anymore , sicKos . she sat in the waiting room smoKing marlboro slims , inhaling a familiar haunting that dot / d goosebumps under her feline print / d spandex , all the way up to that tiny scar in her temple that looK / d liKe a cluster of needles poked too deep . she shiver / d n her daughter ‘ s limply body twitch / d liKe snap / d rubber . a gentlemanly doctor , not the nurse ? , walK / d into the lobby n announced he ‘ d be taKing ms . felix ‘ s daughter for overnight tests as her blood samples indicate she … her focus blur / d n trail / d off onto the yellow bricK road from the stories a nurse read her while she was sicK in the hospital , not long ago , only sixteen years . she Knows she can ‘ t do anything . she gives up her daughter n her own life at that moment . walKs out the sliding doors , clunK . she was surprised the motion detector sensed her , b / c she was sure she was dead . she sits on the curb n lights a cigarette n slips into her own memory of what her daughter ‘ s about to experience . this is where her ” fun ” begins . one pill n she ‘ ll feel warm , still sicK , but comfortable . another pill , maybe a needle if she ‘ s hesitant , n she will sleep for what feels liKe months . maybe it is . months of vividly clear twist / d scenes of murder , death , sex , sodomy . at night she ‘ ll sleep in a room , probably the same room , w / no furniture where a new pill is slid under the door . a tasty looKing pill , but it ‘ s miniature is not childish in effect . nightmares of her own death . she ‘ ll have to fight to stay alive n when she dies , inevitably , she ‘ll awaKe , weaK , confront / d by real life demons lurching over her bed , scratching n chewing at her flesh , so that they may burrow inside of her for the winter . hopefully , sally still hides in the corner . hopefully she ‘ ll save her daughter from the fire – breathing , flesh melting dragons . b / c then , n only then , will the doctor say she ‘ s a good girl n give her a treat . she taKes a long n violent drag of her cigarette n bursts the blood vessels in her cheeKs . her ride is late . he won ‘ t believe her . no one ever has . she was broKen , shatter / d . her only hope is being pretty , liKe the tv . a glamorous princess w / cartoon curves . she chases fame , into his broken down valiant . he compliments her as his ” beautiful leech ” n she sucKs from his fame , her sexual prowess as hypnotic as his strumming a guitar . she snaps out of it n is alone , months later , in her own dressing room , melting from the catapult of manufactured fame . the walls creaK as her demons push through from the outside . they push through n unclip her bucKle , push her down n shut her up . blood drips from her nose n he dabs it n draws an invert / d cross on her forehead . he liKes her candy . he wants her candy . feed him more of your candy . more candy . thru her demon ‘ s moans she hears the crowd chanting her name n her manager KicKs her door down . it startles her aggressor n he choKes the life from her body n vanishes into a cloud of menthol slims . her show is cancel / d , but the merchandise sells out .

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